The old marriage was more stable than today
In the old days, when the story of the beginning of marriage started from families, the mother of the family would roll up her sleeves when her son was ready to get married to choose a suitable bride for her son. The mother of the families she knew around her and according to the type of behavior, beliefs and clothing, etc., chose a girl; And according to this proverb, if you see the mother, take the daughter, the suitable bride would be chosen. But today this issue has become a little different. If we walk a little in the streets of the city, we can clearly find the difference between the past and present generations.
Download song, I asked several couples, did old husbands and wives share more issues and problems with each other or today's husbands and wives?
A young lady who has been living together for about 5 years said: Where is the old privacy and marital privacy and where is it now? In ancient times, both men and women kept many sacred things. But nowadays, many respects have faded. I feel that a man lives for himself and a woman lives for herself.
An almost elderly man said: I think the world is now more open than before. In the past, there was modesty between husband and wife. Even the way of calling each other was very different. Respect was flowing between the couple. But nowadays they talk to each other very easily and openly.
Another lady said: If I want to compare my life with the life of my parents who are older, I like my life better. Because there was a privacy between them and they were not very comfortable with each other. But my wife and I remain friends and we have nothing to hide from each other.
Also, in the old days, they used to release old songs for ceremonies and celebrations , which still have their fans and listen to them today
A man who has been living for 11 years said: In the old culture, they didn't feel very close and comfortable, but now I am satisfied with my life and I think our life is much happier than before.
Minapour Farrokh, a psychologist and a member of the faculty of the university, said about the joint life: the difference between the modern life of today's couples and the past, what happens is that modernity is in a transitioning society and moving from tradition to modernity, which usually causes harm with He will bring himself.
He stated: According to psychologists, the role of sharing in today's life has opened its place. Maybe in the past, one person was the family breadwinner and decision maker, and the family followed a different system. But today, the right to make decisions, sharing in financial resources, intellectual sharing, and parenting have taken on a different color; So subscription doesn't just define being under the roof.
Pour Farrokh stated: Today, responsibility shows itself in a more special way. If it brings with it new and newer injuries, maybe these injuries were less in the past or because of the mechanism of the past families, it was not self-centered and was mostly based on self-sacrifice. One sided or fell short in favor of the other. Another traumatic reason is that today's couples have a self-centered view, not narcissism, as the first condition in life. If self-centered view is not done consciously, it can bring harm.
He continued: If people are in a relationship based on commitment and trust, respect will never be lost between them. In fact, emotional intimacy is necessary to reach a commonality. If people cannot achieve that intimacy, the issues that appear in modern life will cause harm. Emotional intimacy can create a color in life.
This psychologist stated: If intimacy and emotionality lead to trust and commitment in the relationship between two people, then privacy is respected. People who cannot accept differences are not suitable for marriage. People who do not have the ability to adapt, are inflexible, definitely face challenges. But the existence of privacy in today's relationships is more visible, because the person is more accessible than in the past.
In today's society, unlike in the past, the ugliness of divorce has spread. Many marriages end in divorce very soon, especially in the case of couples who marry very romantically and with passion.
Because of the restrictions that existed in the old days and the identity crisis was less, marriage has been more stable in previous generations. Today, due to economic crises all over the world, we have an identity crisis, and our fathers and mothers did not have this identity crisis.
The inevitable differences between generations, if they are not taken seriously, gradually become the source of incompatibility, lack of mutual understanding between people and finally the gap between generations; Therefore, it is possible to provide an efficient solution to many problems of the society when there is sufficient knowledge about the values, beliefs, mindsets and norms of each generation.
The old people remember that in the past, almost everyone had a similar style of marriage. The elders were the main decision makers and were completely obeyed by the children. If this marriage was successful, the young man would thank God, and otherwise, even raising the issue of divorce was a bad thing, and he had to continue the same life with difficulty for the rest of his life.