- If you brush your teeth, I will give you chocolate tomorrow.
- If you share your toy now, I will buy you a new toy.
- If you do your homework, I will show you television.
Such promises are commonly made to children. Motivating a child to do something through a reward is logical and may seem effective too. Let’s pause and look at two types of motivation.
At Aajol, a mindful and nurturing preschool & daycare in Pune, we focus on fostering intrinsic motivation in children through encouragement, exploration, and joy-driven learning. As one of the best preschool & daycare in Pune, we intentionally avoid using rewards to influence behavior. Instead, we create an environment where children learn to enjoy activities for their own sake—whether it’s sharing, learning, or helping—because these actions feel good and meaningful. Within our preschool & daycare, children are gently guided to develop self-motivation, curiosity, and inner satisfaction, setting a strong foundation for lifelong learning and personal growth.
The first is extrinsic motivation where the person is motivated to do something because of external factors such as rewards or avoiding a negative consequence. Eg. doing the homework for the television. Here, the homework becomes something to somehow finish off and the television becomes the focus of interest and enjoyment.
The second is intrinsic motivation where the person is motivated to do something because of internal factors such as joy or interest or passion or understanding the importance of doing the activity and so on. Eg. brushing one’s teeth because hygiene is important or doing homework out of interest or joy. Here the homework is the focus of interest and enjoyment.
When we place a reward for homework, for example, we remove the possibility of developing interest in studies by shifting the focus to the reward. When we all want our children to take interest in learning, growing and living a good life, it is counterproductive to reward these activities.
Rewards may reduce intrinsic motivation.
The child may develop dependency on rewards. They may start asking ‘what do I get?’ or saying ‘I want this or that’ for doing basic tasks such as homework or chores or routine activities.
The child misses the opportunities to connect with life, to develop engagement, interest, passion, hard work, patience, humility, integrity and so on.
The focus on material rewards can increase the need for material gratification and indulgence.
The child misses on learning a life skill of being present to the journey and not fixating on the destination.
Some children may feel stressed about earning rewards.
Activity:
- What activities do you reward for your child, if any?
- Identify the rewards you offer to your child, if any.
- Pick one short, easy activity out of these.
- Remove the reward. Help your child deal with the discomfort that may come up.
- Slowly and steadily, reduce the rewards you give your child and help them focus on the joy of doing the activities. Help them find joy in all activities they do.
- Make sure you don’t create new rewards.
Note: It may seem difficult at first but easy solutions appear once we set this intention in motion.