Many people worry that starting a relationship during a lockdown is a waste of time. They think the connection will fade before the world opens up again. For those of us living with neuromuscular conditions, this fear can feel even heavier. We often wonder if someone will truly understand our physical needs without meeting us in person first. Sam and Leo faced this exact situation in early 2020. Sam lived in Auckland and Leo was down in Dunedin. They matched online right as the first restrictions began. They ended up waiting exactly 14 months before they could finally sit in the same room.
Developing a deep sense of trust often starts by engaging with the various regional branches and support networks found at mpda.org.nz where people share their lived experiences and connect over shared challenges. This common ground allowed Sam and Leo to skip the small talk. They already knew the basics of living with a disability in New Zealand.
Myth 1: Digital chemistry is not real
Sam was very nervous at first. She thought the screen would make everything feel cold and clinical. She was worried they would run out of things to say. However, Leo made her laugh within the first 5 minutes of their first video call. They started having dinner together over Zoom every Friday night. They would both cook at the same time in their own kitchens and then eat while talking. It felt like a real date because they shared the same moments and the same mistakes.
Myth 2: Distance is an impossible barrier
Friends told them they were just dreaming. People asked how Leo would manage the travel from Dunedin to Auckland with his power chair. They asked how Sam would handle the logistics of a long-distance partner. They used those 14 months to talk to their local Fieldworkers. The Fieldwork Service helped them understand how to plan for accessible travel when the time eventually came. They turned the big problem of distance into a series of small, manageable steps.
Myth 3: People hide their true selves online
There is a common worry that people only show their best sides on a screen. In this community, honesty usually comes first. Sam showed Leo her modified bathroom and her hoist. Leo talked openly about his morning routine and his support workers.
Being honest about my daily life felt safer behind a screen at first. It gave us a chance to talk about the hard stuff without the pressure of a physical date.
Myth 4: The spark dies after a year of waiting
Waiting 14 months is a long time for any couple. Many people think the excitement will disappear. For Sam and Leo, the wait actually made them stronger. They found creative ways to stay close:
- They watched 15 different movie series together while on the phone.
- They sent 22 handwritten letters across the country.
- They played online games every Tuesday night.
- They shared photos of their daily meals and garden progress.
Myth 5: Talking about care is too heavy for early dating
Leo was scared to mention his nocturnal ventilation. Sam didn't want to bring up her need for help with certain tasks. They thought it would scare the other person away. Instead, they found that talking about these things created a deeper bond. They realized they could support each other emotionally even if they could not be there physically yet.
Myth 6: You do not know someone until you meet them
When the travel rules finally changed in June 2021, Leo booked his flight. When he came through the gates at the airport, there was no awkwardness at all. Sam saw him and felt like she was seeing an old friend she had known for decades.
- They recognized each other's smiles instantly.
- The conversation picked up exactly where the last call ended.
- The physical presence was just the final piece of a puzzle they had already built.
Waiting can be a hidden gift. It gives you time to listen and see the person without any outside distractions. Sam and Leo are still together today. They proved that a screen is just a window, not a wall. If you are patient, the wait only makes the first meeting more special.