My Inner Child is Killing Me

She is carrying the ammo of twenty five years of suppressed pain that no one can even begin to comprehend not even herself

Abandoned at birth by her creators, her purity latches on to the closest being that makes her feel the slightest bit of endearment

She longs for a sense of worth, value, love and protection in a life that was designed for her to fail no matter how hard she fought

I attempt to guide her through the battle but her sword of innocence slices through my wisdom making me her number one enemy

-swing!- "But they'll love you"

(They will leave you)

-swing!- "You can trust them"

(You don't know them)

-swing!" Hold on! Fight harder! Don't let go!

(It's hurting you. You have to let go)

I beg and plead for support but no one is willing to help me fight her

-swing!-

Have mercy God...

-swing!-

I'm begging you...

-swing!-

Please heal her!

Therapy, prayers and meditation are just band-aids to a wound that was meant to have surgery

The rage from my little one is more terrifying than any demonic entity to exist

I walk on eggshells around this monster not knowing how to tame her

If I kill her, I kill myself

If I submit to her, she kills me

If I coexist with her, neither one of us lives

-Danae Tucker 11/25/21